I can't reallly help you with the Director thing, as far as I know Director handles flash the same way it handles quicktime, or images. It is just another object, and it can't really grab info from the flash piece and use it in director, then again the last time I used Director was Director7. As far as the margins go, if it is set right in your movie properties maybe it is a problem with your publish settings. Check to make sure that however you are publishing that the output is set to match movie properties.
Passing data, events, and even Lingo from Flash to Director (i.e. you import your Flash movie as a Director cast member) is a pretty easy and very powerful thing (and ye, you can do it in Director 7). It's all done with Flash's GetURL action (much like you can call JavaScript with GetURL). Since I;'m not sure how your movie is set up, I'll give you a few examples; you should be able to figure you way out from there.
To play a Director Cast Member sound (with puppetSound) from within Flash, simply put this code where you want in your Flash movie (on a frame or a button, for example):