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    Harry Tuttle phantomflanflinger's Avatar
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    A List Of Your Competitors - Know Your Enemy

    Any of your competitors fit any of these descriptions? If so, post their names/addresses! I sure would.

    Mr. Top Ponce
    This guy's firm is amongst the best, but he won't even talk to most people. Replies to about 1% of emails. He has top clients, who think he's a 'great artist'. Mr. Top Ponce considers himself 'above' having a proper site: it's just links to his blue-chip clients, but it still takes three days to load, has undreadable 3 point text and is bafflingly unnavigable to everyone, including himself.
    (I hate him, Why can't I have his clients?)

    Mr. Distant
    He ain't there! When someone makes an enquiry, there's no reply. His site hasn't been updated in 3 years, but somehow still gives the impression he's in business. It's amazing how many sites have gone bust but remain on the Web as if nothing's wrong. You don't see shops that look open when they're not.
    (I like him - he ain't there!)

    Mr. Dude
    He's so c0o0o0l, working a 7-hour week, making sites about his wife/girlfriend/lizard and his surfing club/skating club/snowboarding club. He's good at Flash, but if you don't like his work, then, hey, like, that's just your opinion, square.
    (I like him. He's almost me.)

    Mr. Win3.1
    He parties like it's 1994. He considers sites with frames to be "flashy, slow-loading, incompatible, frivolous and liable to crash your computer."
    (I like him. He's got no clients anymore.)

    Mr. Pressure
    He phones clients constantly even at home and tells them they'll be bankrupt unless they have a $7,000 site immediately... "Because your competitors ALREADY HAVE A SITE! You'll be DEAD in six months!! I'm YOUR ONLY HOPE!!" Scary.
    (I like him. He never had any clients.)

    Mr. Kidd
    He's a good designer. But he's not old enough to shave. He really tries hard to sound grown up on the phone. On the plus side, he will accept payment in links to free XXX sites.
    (He's a kid.)

    Ms. Girl
    She's a GIRL. She's UNIQUE. Her sites are DIFFERENT - because she's a GIRL. Or to be exact, her sites have pink backgrounds. And her own site is fulll of "poems".
    (I'd shag her.)

    Mr. Amateur
    He can do a site really good - he's got Dreamweaver 4! That means he can do that Java crypt thingy, so that the buttons change when you put your mouse on them! That means he's a top designer! He's cheaper than these so-called 'professionals' as well!
    (Ha ha ha!)

    Mr. Local-PC-Services-Online.com
    He's a PC repairman. Making a web site is just like fixing an AMD 400MHZ with bollocksed display drivers to him...
    (Bugger him. No, I don't mean I'd bugger him.)

    Mr. Boffin
    Should stick to writing progs, which is the only thing he's good at. Treats creative aspects of Web design as menial programming exercises. Intersting beard and 'Dreadful Gate' (The No.1 Greatful Dead tribute band) T-shirt.
    (C++ genius)

    Mr. 1337
    He won't build a site for you, but he will break into other people's! And he has every X-Files DVD, no girlfriend and exclusive mpeg footage which proves that George W Bush ISN'T part of an alien conspiracy to blow up planet Earth.

    Mr. Insulting
    Mr. Insulting posts messages on Flashkit about his competitors.
    (Cool guy)

    Yes, it's SLOW day for me at the moment. I'm just waiting for clients to send me raw material for their sites.
    Last edited by phantomflanflinger; 10-17-2002 at 03:38 PM.
    We're all in it together

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