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Thread: Funny Rap Song - All About The Pentiums

  1. #1
    more cowbell DigitalOne's Avatar
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    Funny Rap Song - All About The Pentiums

    It's all about the Pentiums, baby
    Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
    Uhh, uh-huh, yeah
    It's all about the Pentiums, baby
    It's all about the Pentiums, baby
    It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
    It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
    Yeah

    What y'all wanna do?
    Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
    Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
    9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?
    Workin' at a desk with a dumb little placard?
    Yeah, payin' the bills with my mad programming skills
    Defraggin' my hard drive for thrills
    I got me a hundred gigabytes of RAM
    I never feed trolls and I don't read spam
    Installed a T1 line in my house
    Always at my PC, double-clickin' on my mizouse
    Upgrade my system at least twice a day
    I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K
    I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him "Money" for short
    I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support
    It's all about the Pentiums, what?
    You've gotta be the dumbest newbie I've ever seen
    You've got white-out all over your screen
    You think your Commodore 64 is really neato
    What kinda chip you got in there, a Dorito?
    You're usin' a 286? Don't make me laugh
    Your Windows boots up in what, a day and a half?
    You could back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette
    You're the biggest joke on the Internet
    Your database is a disaster
    You're waxin' your modem, tryin' to make it go faster
    Hey fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar
    Downloadin' pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar
    And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er
    I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller
    You're just about as useless as jpegs to Hellen Keller

    It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
    It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
    It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
    It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)

    Now, what y'all wanna do?
    Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
    Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
    9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?

    Uh, uh, loggin' in now
    Wanna run wit my crew, hah?
    Rule cyberspace and crunch numbers like I do?
    They call me the king of the spreadsheets
    Got 'em printed out on my bedsheets
    My new computer's got the clocks, it rocks
    But it was obsolete before I opened the box
    You say you've had your desktop for over a week?
    Throw that junk away, man, it's an antique
    Your laptop is a month old? Well that's great
    If you could use a nice, heavy paperweight
    My digital media is write-protected
    Every file inspected, no viruses detected
    I beta tested every operation system
    Gave props to some, and others? I dissed 'em
    While your computer's crashin', mine's multitaskin'
    It does all my work without me even askin'
    Got a flat-screen monitor forty inches wide wide
    I believe that your says "Etch-A-Sketch" on the side
    In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user
    You've got your own newsgroup, "alt.total-loser"
    Your motherboard melts when you try to send a fax
    Where'd you get your CPU, in a box of Cracker Jacks?
    Play me online? Well, you know that I'll beat you
    If I ever meet you I'll control-alt-delete you
    What? What? What? What? What?

    It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
    It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
    It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
    It's all about the Pentiums! (It's all about the Pentiums, baby)
    Now, what y'all wanna do?
    Wanna be hackers? Code crackers? Slackers
    Wastin' time with all the chatroom yakkers?
    9 to 5, chillin' at Hewlett Packard?
    What??

    - Weird Al Yankovic

    Some of you may be able to relate.

  2. #2
    NerdInside's Avatar
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    I'm sure if I read more then 4 lines, it would have been funny.

  3. #3
    more cowbell DigitalOne's Avatar
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    Originally posted by NerdInside
    I'm sure if I read more then 4 lines, it would have been funny.
    Ah, how we've missed the sarcastic one-liners.

  4. #4
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    okay... someone 'sing' along with the instrumentals, record it and post it... that's too much to read.

  5. #5
    NerdInside's Avatar
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    Originally posted by gSOLO_01
    that's too much to read.
    See, he agrees!

  6. #6
    NerdInside's Avatar
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    Originally posted by ViRGo_RK
    That's an amazing thing to say, nerdles!
    You need to learn how to spoof quotes better.

  7. #7
    NerdInside's Avatar
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    Took you what, 3, 4 times to get it right?

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  9. #9
    Illuminatus! fospher.com's Avatar
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    i read it!

    its actually funny - i went to the site that jdo posted - but the quicktime video wouldnt budge for me - so now im going for real...

    "Upgrade my system at least twice a day
    I'm strictly plug-and-play, I ain't afraid of Y2K
    I'm down with Bill Gates, I call him "Money" for short
    I phone him up at home and I make him do my tech support"

  10. #10
    20x6 ziplockkitty's Avatar
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    I used to lissten to that song alot. Its still one of my favorites.
    You wish you had a footer like this one.
    >>Shutup<< >>HomeStarRunner!<<

  11. #11
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    Originally posted by JDO67
    www.thepentiums.com
    aww... no video, no sound...

  12. #12
    Illuminatus! fospher.com's Avatar
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    aww... no video, no sound...
    i used iMesh to find it. heh. whatever happened to weird al? i bought his album back in the day, dont know where it is now, but at least i had it. somebody told me that he blew his brains out. is this true?
    Last edited by fospher.com; 02-15-2003 at 03:18 PM.

  13. #13
    Retired Mod aversion's Avatar
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    best rap song ever, MC Hawking - entropy

    thanks mark

  14. #14
    dIgital pHoto dude! TheEnigma's Avatar
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    Blew his brains out?
    Not that I know of.

    All About the Pentiums is great yes, but his best work has to be:
    Amnish Paradise

    get the Video if you can - well worth it
    Been a while since I was here! Might just stay around this time! | Check out my Deviations - all comments welcomed!


  15. #15
    more cowbell DigitalOne's Avatar
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    Amish Paradise:

    As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
    I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
    But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
    You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
    At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
    Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
    And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
    Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
    I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
    Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
    But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
    Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

    We been spending most our lives
    Living in an Amish paradise
    I've churned butter once or twice
    Living in an Amish paradise
    It's hard work and sacrifice
    Living in an Amish paradise
    We sell quilts at discount price
    Living in an Amish paradise

    A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
    I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
    I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
    'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
    But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
    An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
    I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
    And my homies all I agree I look good in black... fool
    If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
    We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
    But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
    We're just technologically impaired

    There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
    Not a single luxury
    Like Robinson Caruso
    It's as primitave as can be

    We been spending most our lives
    Living in an Amish paradise
    We're just plain and simple guys
    Living in an Amish paradise
    There's no time for sin and vice
    Living in an Amish paradise
    We don't fight, we all play nice
    Living in an Amish paradise

    Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
    Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
    Think you're really rightous? Think you're pure in heart?
    Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
    I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
    On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
    So don't be vain and don't be whiny
    Or else, my brother, I might just have to get medieval on your heinie

    We been spending most our lives
    Living in an Amish paradise
    We're all crazy Mennonites
    Living in an Amish paradise
    There's no cops or traffic lights
    Living in an Amish paradise
    But you'd probably think it bites
    Living in an Amish paradise

  16. #16
    dIgital pHoto dude! TheEnigma's Avatar
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    Originally posted by DigitalOne
    Amish Paradise:

    As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
    I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain
    But that's just perfect for an Amish like me
    You know, I shun fancy things like electricity
    At 4:30 in the morning I'm milkin' cows
    Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
    And I've been milkin' and plowin' so long that
    Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
    I'm a man of the land, I'm into discipline
    Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
    But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
    Then tonight we're gonna party like it's 1699

    We been spending most our lives
    Living in an Amish paradise
    I've churned butter once or twice
    Living in an Amish paradise
    It's hard work and sacrifice
    Living in an Amish paradise
    We sell quilts at discount price
    Living in an Amish paradise

    A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
    I just smiled at him and turned the other cheek
    I really don't care, in fact I wish him well
    'Cause I'll be laughing my head off when he's burning in hell
    But I ain't never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
    An Amish with a 'tude? You know that's unheard of
    I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
    And my homies all I agree I look good in black... fool
    If you come to visit, you'll be bored to tears
    We haven't even paid the phone bill in 300 years
    But we ain't really quaint, so please don't point and stare
    We're just technologically impaired

    There's no phone, no lights, no motorcar
    Not a single luxury
    Like Robinson Caruso
    It's as primitave as can be

    We been spending most our lives
    Living in an Amish paradise
    We're just plain and simple guys
    Living in an Amish paradise
    There's no time for sin and vice
    Living in an Amish paradise
    We don't fight, we all play nice
    Living in an Amish paradise

    Hitchin' up the buggy, churnin' lots of butter
    Raised a barn on Monday, soon I'll raise another
    Think you're really rightous? Think you're pure in heart?
    Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art
    I'm the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
    On my knees day and night scorin' points for the afterlife
    So don't be vain and don't be whiny
    Or else, my brother, I might just have to get medieval on your heinie

    We been spending most our lives
    Living in an Amish paradise
    We're all crazy Mennonites
    Living in an Amish paradise
    There's no cops or traffic lights
    Living in an Amish paradise
    But you'd probably think it bites
    Living in an Amish paradise
    LOL - just be thankful I am Micless at the mo - I do a mean rendition of that track
    Roll on Weird Nigs Yankovic!
    Been a while since I was here! Might just stay around this time! | Check out my Deviations - all comments welcomed!


  17. #17
    Senior Member
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    The running with scisors album was genuis- It has the pentium song, Fly for a Rabi, The Star Wars parody song -The Saga Begins...

    Anyhow he's got a new album comming out soon and this is good.

    http://www.weirdal.com/catalog.htm

  18. #18
    Senior Member
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    One of the best parodies ever made though is Combo # 5...

    http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/combo5.html

    Weird Al did not write that one...

  19. #19
    more cowbell DigitalOne's Avatar
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    Originally posted by johnie
    One of the best parodies ever made though is Combo # 5...

    http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/combo5.html

    Weird Al did not write that one...
    Hahahah! That's great! (Flash is good, too)

  20. #20
    Not PWD ViRGo_RK's Avatar
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    I have almost ALL of W.A.Y.'s cd's.


    PAlexC: That's just Chuck Norris's way of saying sometimes corn needs to lay the heck down.
    Gerbick: America. Stabbing suckers since Vespucci left.

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