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Thread: ummm....???

  1. #1
    Mom said "make me a Mod" el-Ignoramus's Avatar
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    ummm....???

    so where's everybody today?


    hardly twenty post since this morning(Cairo Local Time)

    wake up people
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  2. #2
    Juvenile Delinquent CVO Chris's Avatar
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    I'm here (and bored again). I've got another crossword

  3. #3
    Mom said "make me a Mod" el-Ignoramus's Avatar
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    Finished the other one without me darling ??



    wb bro


    anyway start typing then
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  4. #4
    Juvenile Delinquent CVO Chris's Avatar
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    I never finished it. But the one I got in todays paper has all the answers from the last one underneath!

    *goes checks other thread to see what clue we were stuck on*

    3 Down - Having will (7 letters)

    T _ _ _ A _ _

    The answer is.... TESTATE! Well I've never heard of the word. Lousy puzzle

  5. #5
    Mom said "make me a Mod" el-Ignoramus's Avatar
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    throw the paper away and play some mine sweeper , ever tried it in 3d? I'm considering making one in 3d, OMG the possibilities


    Got any Jokes today? here's a nice one
    could be a bit old though


    The Pope arrives to America in his limo and says to the driver, "Why don't you let me drive for once?"
    The driver thinks to himself, Well, I can't say no to this guy, he's the Pope. So the driver pulls over and they change places.

    The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway and dodging cars. After a while the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "Slow down a bit, you might get pulled over."

    The Pope says, "Ahhh, don't worry about it, I'm the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast.

    After a few moments he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "Oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute?"

    The Pope says, "Sure."

    The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "Guys I just pulled over someone really important."

    They ask, "An ambassador?"

    "No, more important."

    "The president of another country?"

    "No, more important."

    "The President?"

    "No, even more important."

    "Well, who is it?"

    "I don't know, but the Pope is the chauffeur."







    another R rated one in your PM
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  6. #6
    Juvenile Delinquent CVO Chris's Avatar
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    lol - I got one.

    Guy goes in to hospital because his wife just had a baby and he has missed the birth just as he enters the hospital doors.

    Frantically making his way towards the room with his wife and son a doctor stops him dead in his tracks.

    "Excuse me sir, but I have some terrible news concerning your son!" says the Doctor.
    "Well, what is it?" demands the man.
    "I'm sorry to say this but your son.... has no arms." the Doctor replies.
    The man, although shocked, bounces back and says "That is fine. I will love my son no matter what."

    And so the man continues down to the ward when the mid-wife stops him.

    "Sir, before you see your son I think you should know that we had some complications." the mid wife says.
    "What now!?" exclaims the man.
    "Your son has.... well he has no legs, sir." the mid wife murmurs.
    "What! Oh dear! Get out of my way!" the man shouts.

    He goes up the stairs but on his way up a surgeon stops him.

    "Sir, it's about your baby, I need to tell you something." says the surgeon.
    "Go on" the man says expecting the worse.
    "Well, when your son was born, he didn't have a torso." the surgeon points out.
    "Oh no!"

    The man now is really worried. He sees the door where his son and wife would be and prepares to enter. Just before he does a nurse stops him.

    "Sir, I'm very sorry, but your son...... well..."
    "....what the hell is it now!?" the man interrupts.
    "Well your son has no head" the nurse says looking down.

    At this point the man ponders for a bit before asking the nurse a question.

    "Okay, if my baby has no arms, no legs, no torso AND no head then what the hell is he!?" he sobs.
    "He's..." the nurse pauses "...he's just an ear."

    The man, upon hearing this news storms in to the room and see's his wife sitting on a bed, and next to her is his son. An ear... lying lonely on the bed.

    The man picks up the ear and cradles it in his arms. "My son... my beautiful son." he says endearingly.

    "There's no use talking to your son" a Doctor interrupts.

    .

    .

    .

    .

    wait for it......

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    .

    "He's deaf!!!"

    Last edited by CVO Chris; 04-22-2003 at 10:03 AM.

  7. #7
    fat snacks j4mes's Avatar
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    its cos it should be monday....but its not....but it feels like it...so it must be...but tomorrows wednesday...so it cant be:

    ::true friendship-

    Telephone conversation goes; "Hello, is this the police?
    "Yes it is. How can we help you?"
    "I'm calling to report about my neighbour, Tony. He's hiding
    cocaine inside his firewood!"
    "Thank you very much for the call, sir."
    The next day, police officers descend on Tony's house in great
    numbers. They search the house and then go out to the shed where the
    firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of
    firewood but they find no cocaine. They swear at Tony and leave.
    The phone rings at Tony's house.
    "Hey, Tony. Did the cops come?" "Yeah!" "Did they chop up your
    firewood?"
    "Yep."
    "Happy Birthday", mate.

  8. #8
    Retired Mod aversion's Avatar
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    Originally posted by CVO Chris
    I never finished it. But the one I got in todays paper has all the answers from the last one underneath!

    *goes checks other thread to see what clue we were stuck on*

    3 Down - Having will (7 letters)

    T _ _ _ A _ _

    The answer is.... TESTATE! Well I've never heard of the word. Lousy puzzle
    pffft stupid sun.

    testate means that you have a will, that you don't die without instructions about your assets. So nothing to do with will power or determination or tenacity. It's a legal thing.

  9. #9
    Mom said "make me a Mod" el-Ignoramus's Avatar
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    *kid answering the phone* hello who's this?
    *Male voice* this your daddy junior, I know it's been long but I've been abroad and I'll return home soon, and I'll bring you all kinds of gifts and toys
    kid: WOW dad that's great, when will you come, what toys will you bring me...
    dad:all what you wish for junior, I can't believe I'm talking to my own son, when I left for Auzbakistan six years ago you were only six months old, so junior is mommy home?
    kid:yes dad
    dad:could you put her through
    kid:she's asleep with uncle John in the bedroom
    male: what, whaa whaat sleeping, uncle john, wtf... whose he, and what's he doing here?
    kid:I dunno he comes twice a week, he'd eat, sleep next to mom and leave the next day
    male:listen junior I need you to avenge your family's reputation, remove the shame, do you know where your mom keeps the gun
    kid:yep, I've seen her hiding it
    male:great, go get it, and kill this man, prevent the shame from covering our family
    kid:OK dad I'll do it, I hate uncle John coz he keeps hitting me

    *BANG BANG*

    kid:I did it dad I killed him
    male:that's my son, what did your mom do?
    kid:she screamed and yelled at me" why did you do that timmy, why did you kill my brother John??"

    male:timmy!!?? brother...?? John..!!??, errr.. isn't this 555-1234
    :::Un Clickable:::

    My Religion
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