First of all I have to say I'm using Flash MX.
I have a problem getting the sound to work. It works as long as I check on the "export in first frame" option, but I don't wan the firstframe to be that big (preloader)

In the faq it says
Add the sound to your movie at the point you want it to load.
Is this the code:
mySnd= new Sound(this);

??

Set the sound to stop sync to prevent it from playing after it loads.
How the H*** do I "Set the sound to stop sync"??

In linkage dialog, give the sound a linkage ID, click "Export for Actionscript" and uncheck "export in first frame". Flash loads the sound symbol in the frame containing the sound, not the first frame.
This part I actually understand

call attachSound("linkageID") in a frame AFTER the sound loads, or else Flash will not connect the sound and sound object .
Back to the first question again is "loads" the code:
mySnd= new Sound(this);

??

Metaman