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Thread: The "A guy walks into a bar..." thread.

  1. #41

  2. #42
    Linux + BeOS = ? ? ? ? ? ? connect2nikhil's Avatar
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    A good challenge is to try to read the entire piece aloud without laughing.

    LOL! Laughed a lot reading this thread but now a real good challenge is to try to read the entire piece aloud without laughing.
    This will really make you go bonkerz


    The Eighteen Bottles


    I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else... I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

    I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and pured the contents down the sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the thrid bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled the cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.

    When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were twent-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank.

    I'm not under tha affluence of incohol as some tinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get.
    Last edited by connect2nikhil; 09-06-2003 at 05:52 AM.
    To design is Human. To Flash is Divine.- Nikhil "NicK" Desai
    Anyone, who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty.
    Anyone, who continues learning stays young.
    The greatest thing in life is to keep learning and stay young. - Henry Ford

  3. #43
    Senior Member
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    A bear walks into a bar, sits down and says to the barman "i'll have a coke....


    ....

    ...


    and a whiskey"


    The barman says "why the big pause"



    .
    -----------------------------------
    Chris Green
    BREADLEGS :: DESIGN AGENCY

  4. #44
    An Inconvenient Serving Size hurricaneone's Avatar
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    Originally posted by breadlegs
    A bear walks into a bar, sits down and says to the barman "i'll have a coke....


    ....

    ...


    and a whiskey"


    The barman says "why the big pause"



    .
    That is so bad, it was almost physically painful.

    Stand by for emergency synapse rerouting

  5. #45
    Under the influence bvgroote's Avatar
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    Originally posted by hurricaneone
    That is so bad, it was almost physically painful.


  6. #46
    Living Proof mave_the_rave's Avatar
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    Appologies if this has already been posted:--

    A man walks into a bar. he asks for Double Whisky and tells
    the barman to have one himself..

    "That will be 6.50 " says the barman.

    " I don't have any money. " says the man.

    "Do What? " says the bar man " You don't have any money....

    ...get out of my pub. If you ever try that again.I'll kill
    you.."

    "That's the last time I'll buy you a drink " says the man.
    "One drink, and you turn nasty.."
    If someone tells you it can't be done,
    it's probally because they don't know how.

  7. #47
    </p>Rick's Stew</p>
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    LOL Hazard06, got anymore?

  8. #48
    Linux + BeOS = ? ? ? ? ? ? connect2nikhil's Avatar
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    Laweys Offended.... Please don't sue me 'cos i am poorest of the poor.
    A well dressed lawyer went into a bar for a martini and found himself beside a scrungy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand.
    The attorney leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light,slurring "Well, it looks like plastic."
    Then he rolled it between his fingers,adding,"But it feels like rubber."
    Curious, the lawyer asked, "What do you have there mister?"
    The drunk stammered,"Damn if I know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber."
    The lawyer said,"Let me take a look." And the drunk handed it over. The attorney rolled it between his thumb and fingers, then examined it closely. "Yeah, it does look like plastic and feel like rubber, but I don't know what it is. Where did you get it anyway?"
    The drunk replied, "Outa my nose."
    Last edited by connect2nikhil; 09-10-2003 at 08:08 AM.
    To design is Human. To Flash is Divine.- Nikhil "NicK" Desai
    Anyone, who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty.
    Anyone, who continues learning stays young.
    The greatest thing in life is to keep learning and stay young. - Henry Ford

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