Are you BrainWashed by the Media??

[flipshark]

Okay, first I want this thread to stay away from the whole war and patriotism argument, but rather keep a little on the lighter side.

Anyway, so I'm sitting here not 10 minutes ago, it's an extremely humid day where I live, and all of a sudden BAM (or buzz or whatever) I'm bitten by a mosquito.

Now of course, the first thing that pops into my head is "great now I've got the WEST NILE VIRUS".

Now I could delve into some psychological theories of behavioural conditioning... But I think I have been brainwashed by all these stupid media stories out there.

I mean there is only like 1 reported case of WNV in every 100 million humans in North America, I'd have a better chance of winning the lottery while aboard an a airplane that crashes out of the sky while being hit by lightning twice on the way down on a sunny summer day.

So what have you been brainwashed to believe??.. What's the media (news, TV, movies, advertisements) got stuck in your head??

Do you watch you shoelaces on the escalator so you don't lose a leg? Did you stop swimming in the ocean for fear of sharks? Do you no longer eat honey cause it may secretly support the "Killer Bees" advancing towards your home??

Give us some funny, stupid, quirky stories of your brainwashing experiences.. [again, no serious politics/war posts please]

[ViRGo_RK]

Fire ants.

[ViRGo_RK]

McDonalds.

[swampy]

I feel like chicken tonight, chicken tonight

[yasunobu13]

I'm not brainwashed by the media yet but I was brainwashed by Office Max when I was working there. I realised it one day when I had to go get a desk for a customer.

These desks were in those compact 5 foot x 3 foot boxes and stacked from the floor to chest level. No one was around to help me, so I slowly pulled the top desk off the stack and set one end on the ground while the other end was leaning against the wall. I moved my hands near the bottom of the box to adjust it, my plan was to set it up so I could push it easily onto a cart. Unfortunately, as I adjusted it, the box decided to slide down the wall and land flat on top of my upturned hand. Right away, I pulled my hand out from underneath the box, and seeing blood, I ran to the bathroom for a paper towel, but first, I made sure to tell Dave (another employee) to take the desk and bring it up front for the customer.

The rest of the story is pretty funny, but has nothing to do with brainwashing, so I'll leave it out. It turns out that I split a half inch of my finger open, the bone was broken and I needed stitches. Later, I thought to myself "Why the hell did I feel the need to make sure the desk got to the customer?"

[flipshark]

Originally posted by yasunobu13

The rest of the story is pretty funny, but has nothing to do with brainwashing, so I'll leave it out.

Well now we have to hear it

[sk8Krog]

I went to Applebee's and ordered baby back ribs. They were good.

[asun2art]

Originally posted by sk8Krog
I went to Applebee's and ordered baby back ribs. They were good.

It's hard to find anything good at Applebee's...

[sk8Krog]

Guess I'm brainwashed

[yasunobu13]

Originally posted by flipshark
Well now we have to hear it

Well, after telling Dave to help the customer, I went a grabbed a paper towel from the bathroom and applied pressure. Then I went and told the manager on duty (at this point I had only seen the top of my finger, so I figured that my fingernail had been shoved into my skin and was bleeding a little). The manager said that we should go wash it. I have a problem with looking at my own injuries (it makes me queesy) So I asked the manager to wash it off for me as I looked away. I took off the paper towel and he said "We better take you to the hospital" in a rather grim voice, but I didn't think anything of it. He then gave me many more paper towels and told me to wait in the break room while he called the hospital.

In the break room, I held my hand up to keep it above my heart, then waited. Soon I felt sick to my stomach and started getting very tired. Now, I have never fainted, but my mom has many times and described exactly that feeling before fainting, so I asked another employee to sit and talk to me. He was running the copy center and it's usually pretty slow. I told him to keep me talking, about anything at all, just so I wouldn't go to sleep. Some customers came and he switched with some of the girls working at the time.

For what must have been 15 minutes to a half hour, I sat talking to my coworkers in the break room with a throbbing finger. I finally asked someone to call the manager to find out when I'm leaving for the hospital, but he was on the phone with someone. I said "Screw this" and knew that I needed to get to the hospital some other way. But my parents happened to be out of town at the time, and my brother had moved out by now, and didn't know his phone number. I told the guy at the copy center to call my girlfriend (we'll call her June). I said, "Ask for June, but if she's not there, ask for her mom" Unfortunatly, June wasn't there, but her mom came over 10 minutes later. I explained everything and we were off to the hospital.

Now, I hadn't been dating June for very long at this point, so it was quite the bonding experience... for her at least. We sat in the emergency room for at least an hour when, very unexpectedly, my brother shows up! I'm still rather off a bit due to the loss of blood, so, needless to say, I was confused. So, I got to introduce my brother to my girlfriend's mom in the emergency room because I dropped a desk on my finger. They chatted for a little while and June's mom eventually left. It turns out that my brother stopped by Office Max after I had left to ask me where my parents kept something (I forget what it was now), my coworkers told him what happened and where I was and how I got there, so he decided to show up.

After another hour of waiting, I finally got to see the nurse. She told me to take off the paper towels (the same ones that had been on my finger for the last few hours). That's when I finally saw the half inch long cut which was open very wide. My only thought: "Oh, so that's where all the blood is coming from," "Yup" says the nurse. She bandages it up and I get on a table and wait for the doctor to show up, I'm told I need stitches. My brother joins me and thinks that we should call our parents, but we don't know the number. So he calls his friend and tells him how to break into our house to get the number on the fridge. We then leave a message at our parent's hotel, something like I hurt my finger, so I had to go to the hospital. You know, something vague enough to really make them worry.

The doctor eventually comes and takes off the bandage. I turn my head while he starts injecting stuff into my finger to numb it and threads the needle. I'm looking right at my brother's face and all I can feel is a little tug now and then while I'm getting stitched, my brother keeps making disgusted faces as he watches my finger being sewn up. He comments on it with "You don't want to see it"

I then get a finger brace to keep my middle finger extended and braced since it is broken (knowing of the flipping off jokes that will follow me for the next few weeks). Then we went back to my parent's house and my brother had bought Pi just before going to office Max, so we watched that and the noises where the guy needed to take his pills made my finger. A lot.

My parents called at some point and we explained exactly what happened so my mom didn't have a heart attack, and my girlfriend's mom still jokes about it with my brother when she sees him.

[Faux Jebus]

Originally posted by yasunobu13
...and my girlfriend's mom still jokes about it with my brother when she sees him.

A great story, well told.

Paranoias I've got from media..
I rip up credit card receipts, bank slips etc. into pieces that can no longer be divided by human fingers. And then I distribute the bits into at least 2 different garbage cans, ideally not within a kilometer of each other. Never underestimate the dilligence of an identity theif.

That's the only one I can think of right now.

[squidlips]

I've been brainwashed into being ignorant. The media (community service announcements etc.) always goes on about how *it could happen to you, but I never beleive them...

*it could be hiv, getting hit by a car, fire ants...

[Egan311]

Obey.

[gerbick]

Yes, I'm brainwashed. Now send me money.

[bigginge]

I tend to take different routes when I walk to the shops, don't get into a set routine, because then they can pick you off.

[ViRGo_RK]

Originally posted by bigginge
I tend to take different routes when I walk to the shops, don't get into a set routine, because then they can pick you off.

But they can!

Yes, I'm brainwashed. Now send me money.

Wait, that's not how that works. But just in case, here you go.