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Thread: Please give feed back on my short film!

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    3

    Please give feed back on my short film!

    Please let me know what you think of my short animated film.
    It was created entirely using flash 8

    http://www.aniboom.com/video/290528/A-day-in-the-life/

    If you like it please vote, so we can make more cartoons!

    more cartoons at:

    http://www.apt323.com/

    http://www.breeson.blogspot.com

    Thanks!
    Breeson
    Attached Images Attached Images

  2. #2
    Junior Member
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    Oct 2008
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    4
    i like this, especially the voice over sound effects ! haha good job

  3. #3
    Junior Member
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    Nov 2008
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    9
    Okay I think the animations are cool but the idea (if there was one) and the point was just crap.

  4. #4
    Member
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    Oct 2005
    Location
    Santa Barbara, California, USA
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    61
    That was fun.

  5. #5
    Junior Member
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    Oct 2008
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    another comic from the series

    check out the blog for regular updates!

    http://www.breeson.blogspot.com/
    Attached Images Attached Images

  6. #6
    -_-
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    US
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    1,694
    That was good.
    Very nice work on the animations.

    @Naike
    I think the point was that it was funny. It's just a little animated short.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
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    Jun 2004
    Location
    UK
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    451
    You have a great, simple, original comicky style to your drawings, and the animation is OK, but IMHO you need to work on your storylines. The average 3-panel Peanuts strip has more storyline than your stuff -- there are no satisfactory endings or punchlines, they just start somewhere and stop somewhere else. Sorry if this sounds blunt -- but you did ask for opinions...!

  8. #8
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    3
    Hi Everyone,

    There's just a few days left in the Aniboom Competition and we really want to win so we need your help!...
    Please sign up to Aniboom, vote for our video and add it to your favourites.
    To show our appreciation we'll send you a never-before seen, personalized, xmas cartoon starring breeson!

    Just send an email to cartoons@studionx.com with your aniboom name and your email address, and we will send you a personalized xmas episode of Apt323!

    A Day In The Life:

    http://www.aniboom.com/video/290528/A-day-in-the-life/

    email
    cartoons@studionx.com

    Cheers n merry xmas,

    Breeson

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    Location
    UK
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    451
    It's funny. You posted your work up here, and a number of people made comments and suggestions. You totally ignore these, do not respond to any of them, and then ask everyone to vote for you! Why would anybody go through this process, except to bump up their ratings a little? IMHO, it's just spam by another name. Good luck, but you won't be getting my vote...

  10. #10
    Character Animator The_e-Tahn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    cube #45, calarts
    Posts
    635
    Hmm I'm going to say that your cartoon really needs to have some breathing spots.
    Your timing is too dit-dit-dit-dit; one thing hits right after the other; you don't give the viewer any time to sit and ponder what's going on.
    It just happens and keeps going and going, and I kept asking myself: what's the character's goal? His motivation?
    Apparently the main character (the antagonist to his roommate, so far as I could tell) was hogging everything and making life difficult (and a lot of shattered windows); when he caught on fire, I nearly expected to see his roommate throw a jug of gasoline on him and laugh maniacally at the burning of his annoying antagonistic roomie. But in the end, they go back to the apartment as if nothing's changed...

    Stylization was very fun and the tweening was nice, from a technical standpoint. Drawings were easily readable and it was obvious what was going on.
    But I'm still going to say that there should have been more time to sit and let the viewer breathe amongst all the crazy hyper-fast action that was happening! Slow down a beat or two, or even just a few moments... right now it's very sporadic, and like I said, I didn't really get a sense of what the main character was after.
    just a little c/c

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