A vent about Germany

**jAQUAN** · 03-21-2011, 01:52 PM

Sorry guys, I just have no where else to post this. Kinda have to play nice now that I represent my employers.

The transition over here has been nothing short of brutal but until recently is was only brutal in the host of inconveniences sort. With the amount of effort I've put in to getting a high-speed connection its broken through to total insanity.

There's this added depression in knowing you've failed to communicate your intent due to the language barrier. I don't hate them for that, I'm the foreigner. Its admirable that so many Germans speak english as well as they do. But it doesn't make me feel any less defeated.

So there's like two parent companies in Germany, Kabel Deutschland which is their cox/comcast and Deutsch Telekom which is like AT&T + Sprint without the monopoly penalties. I really wouldn't be surprised to find out Kabel Deutschland is owned by Telekom too, everyone else is. See, there's T-Mobile, O2, 1&1 and TKS. Doesn't matter which one you choose to do business with, they all resell Telekom's DSL service.

We had set up our cell phone service through T-mobile simply because they have a shop near by with nice english speaking employees. We returned to the store the day after we got the keys to our house to order internet service. We were shown their plans and the best option was a land-line/DSL combo called Talk&Surf. The way we understood upon leaving with a new contract was that a tech would have to come out and connect our phone line to the PBX first so that they could verify the line quality before connecting the DSL. When you first get here, the army puts you up in a hotel for 30 days in which time you must find a place to live. In a rush, we took the first place that would work. Luckily we found an amazing house that was brand spanking new. We had no idea a new house means zero ability to determine our line quality. Two weeks later a tech finally connects our phone and shortly after we find out not only did our contract involve only a land-line, but we could not get DSL at our address.

I assumed it was because the phone line was still spool of wire in the garage and simply needed a tech to come out and connect it too. No amount of calls to Telekom got them to explain why. You have to call, wait for automated system (in german) to realize you haven't pressed any buttons and connect you to a csr repeatedly until you get a hold of someone who speaks some english. I can't manage to explain why my address won't come up on their computer and finally get my landlord to call. She got them to schedule an appointment at the end of the month. So it would be six weeks from the time I moved in but at least I knew it was happening. Curiosity to know exactly which day there were coming got the better of me and I called again to find out. I was delighted to find out that I was scheduled for the coming wednesday, almost two weeks sooner. On that wednesday I refuse to leave the house and by 2 oclock couldn't take it anymore and called to get an ETA on my tech. They told me my appointment had been canceled three days prior. Again I couldn't understand their explanation. In a panic I start calling the other companies.

1&1 was able to recognize I don't speak german immediately and politely took down my info. A tech called me back less than 10 minutes later speaking very good english. He was able to tell me right away that my neighborhood switch box was full. WTF couldn't Telekom just fk'ing say that instead of dragging me through the mud and waisting all of my time. I still work for an american company and the limited data on my "unlimited" cell phone plan was fading fast.

I call T-mobile to see if they have any kind of wireless internet service no matter how slow. A very nice lady said she's have to do some research and call me back. She did, and said I could get a wireless DSL plan with unlimited data for a decent rate. Sold! Send it! Now, in the mean time I've been calling T-mobile pleading with them to sell me more data on my "unlimited" data plan to tide me over until I get a connection. Each time I was sold some temporary, limited and costly solution. None of those times did they actually add it to my account and send me the hardware (USB sticks, secondary SIM cards). So naturally I was doubtful about my new wireless dsl. Called back the next, big shock, no record of it. RE-ordered it. Called back today where there was a record... FOR REGULAR DSL. "Yes sir, you are all set for.. oh wait... we have a problem. You can't get DSL in your area."

There's more to the story but it all leads to the same "I have no fk'ing clue when, if ever I can get a goddamn internet connection" hell. My patience is pretty much gone, my nerves are pretty much shot and despite some forward thinking in other places, Germany pretty much sucks.

<sorry, had to get that out>

**Frets** · 03-21-2011, 02:51 PM

Reminds me of my missadventures with ameritech/sbc when broadband first came to my area. Two year waiting list then three months to setup. Worked for the first two months then not for the next 6. Constantly overcharged for services that weren't delivered and no alternatives then or now. Everyday I'd be on the phone with tech support after being put on hold for an hour, most days I'd get thru all the scripted canned answers only to find new ones waiting.

**jAQUAN** · 03-21-2011, 04:35 PM

What did you do in the mean time? I'm relegated to tethering off of my phone which I thought would be a fine stand in solution but the small print on the bill is that my unlimited internet is choked down to 14.4 dial up speed after 1 gig. You can purchase an additional 4 gigs but c'mon, 5gigs a month!? The weird part is that they just refuse to sell me more than that. I told them money is not an issue and it didn't make a difference. There's a real fall-in-line attitude around here.

Our only entertainment besides AFN brain-washed american left-overs (seriously, youtube 'AFN Commercials') is Netflix and Hulu. That can eat up 5gigs in one night. I feel like a heroin addict on methadone.

**david petley** · 03-21-2011, 05:40 PM

I searched around this morning (out of curiousity) and found a bunch of links. There might (or might not) be a clue there to help you.

http://www.justlanded.com/english/Ge...nternet-access
http://www.howtogermany.com/pages/telephone.html
http://www.toytowngermany.com/lofi/i...p/t148310.html
http://www.phone-guide-germany.com/
http://www.phone-guide-germany.com/o...r-signal/5565/
http://herbison.com/iap_meta_list/iap_meta_list_de.html

maybe there is something there for you ....maybe not.

**hanratty21** · 03-21-2011, 11:26 PM

Is there an option for Satellite broadband? It's probably not the most ideal, but if you can't get hardline broadband...

**Frets** · 03-22-2011, 11:09 AM

I did without. and then when I'd had enough I cancelled dsl, JQ remember this was when dsl was new to my area No hulu/youtube etc. I went back to dial-up, played more guitar. Then an opporitunity came along required faster bandwith so I tried sbc again.

**jAQUAN** · 03-22-2011, 05:22 PM

@Dp, thanks for taking the time but those links basically cover what I've been through. Basically, if it's DSL, you're using Telekom's lines. Not only that, but any reseller has to turn around and make requests to Telekom's techs. All roads lead to Telekom. This is why we tried to deal with them in the first place. Cable is not an option since a 3rd party would have to dig a trench to our house. I talked to my landlord today and he said he signed a contract with the cable company last July while the house was being built and they never showed up. I spend a lot of time at that toytown site. It's a good forum for english speaking German residents, even if most of the old dogs are rude about the same things that we give newbs sh*t for.

@HR, Good suggestion man. Sat. (*shutter*) internet may be my only option. There's only two providers here and I honestly know nothing about it as far as quality, speed etc. A quick look at one the providers sites made it look like an always-on high speed will cost upwards of 99€ ($140)! I think I'll ask around just in case.

@Frets, A guy who's house I worked out of got suckered into DSL when it first came out. The dudes spent all day setting it up, had to cut holes in his walls and mount one of those phone wire connection grids. When they left he had a fk'ing stack of new hardware that lit up like a x-mas tree. I asked him if they gave a discount to supplement the hike in his power bill to run all that ****.

So today brought another kick in the nuts. I swear if went into detail about every part of this process, you'd agree it's a form of torture. My landlord checked up on Telekom to see what their techs had discovered during their visit to my neighborhood yesterday. She then called my wife to report that they said the lines look good and that we'd be set up on the 31st. Twenty minutes later I get a call from Telekom saying they still have to check the lines. WTmotherF!? I call my landlord back to compare stories and she assures me that she tripple-checked that what she was told was true. I tell her I heard something different and she offers to call back. I tell her I feel bad about the amount she's had to do (although she's required to do so by the dept. of military housing) and that she needn't do so. She insisted and called me back later saying she was now being told the same thing I was. It was a little comforting that even a German native was getting the run-around. It's now ANOTHER couple of weeks before they can get a tech out. It's infuriating that their attitude is so "this is your situation, fk off to the back of the line" Waiting is one thing, at least I know it will happen. But this whole, you're all set, we have to record of you ordering service, we'll send a tech out, we canceled you tech's appointment **** is driving me nuts.

So I decided as long as I'm back at square one, I might as well get my bad news in english. I'm in the process of canceling all Telekom service and am going to sign up with TKS. It's still going to be the same b.s. but at least I wont need to bug my landlord to translate.

I'm convinced it's not a supply problem. T-mobile can provide DSL speeds to my cell phone no problem. They just know they can rob you blind. I already pay a relative fee to an american unlimited talk/internet plan which nets me 1gig of data. I pay an additional 10 euro for their "speed pack" which is another 4 gigs. They refuse to sell me any more than that. I can buy a USB stick that holds a SIMM card for 20 euro per month which is another 3 gigs but I have to get a 2 year contract. I can also buy a day pass for 99 cents a day for 200 megs. I had to buy a 30€ USB Stick, a SIM card and a 15€ gift card thingy so that I could add more credits to the SIM using my phone instead of having to go to an ATM or T-Mobile store. Clearly if they have all these options they don't have a speed problems. Just no fk'ing better business bureau.

**cancerinform** · 03-24-2011, 12:09 PM

Go here and explain your problem. It's a site similar to flashkit. May be somebody can help you. Although I am German, I don't how it works in Germany nowadays, since I live in the US for long time now.

http://www.flashforum.de/forum/

"Am Rande"

or just contact somebody directly from there.