Ok everyone time to put your humour hats on and actionscript life. Here is my contribution.

Code:
On (Release)
   Go to and Stop ("home")
   Begin Tell Target ("/Spouse")
      Set Variable: "mymouth" = "I love you"
      Loop While (Fun = 1)
         Play
         If (Tired)
            Set Variable: "Fun" = 0
            Call ("mates")
            Go to and Stop ("Pub")
         End If
      End Loop       
   End Tell Target
End On