Intellectual Essay -- Rough Draft -- Criticism Welcome/Encouraged!

[FlashInnovation]

The Human Void: On the Path to Singularity

The idea of elitism is nothing in an eternal sense, but everything in the immediate. It is based on comparison -- what one would call the übermensch, the supreme human being – which can only be determined on an intrapersonal metaphysical determination, and then accepted as truth by the whole of society. This classification will yield everlasting acknowledgement, much like Siddhartha Buddha. But who is to speculate that the knowledge and enlightenment that Siddhartha acquired years ago is not beyond the mental comprehension of a modern teenager? Yet many people are afraid to question the thought of them themselves being a brilliant genius bubbling and brooding beneath the surface. Perhaps they need to escape from the controls of society and their conscience and choose to make a difference in the universe rather than accepting the given fact that their opinion doesn’t count.

Part I

Every step of life is set in motion to better the position than the step before. Regardless of the said intentions, once one delves deeper into the roots of human existence and action, one will reveal that mankind strives to be the master of every aspect in the world, both physical and ephemeral. Evaluating that statement will quickly lead to two viewpoint conclusions; one, and the more readily accepted one, is the thought that human’s are sinners and that this amount of control and power is in root evil. Conversely, the second viewpoint stresses creation and positive affluence due to human perversion. Naturally there is a grey area that distinguishes between these two viewpoints, and neither is entirely right nor wrong.

However, it can not be ignored that mankind has had a drastic change upon the world that he inhabits. Primitively he learned from nature, seeking what naturally worked in its own existence, suiting himself to the environment around him. Like wolves he learned to live and share in a pack, like the bear he learned to shelter himself from the elements, and like the squirrel he learned how to prepare for the changing seasons. After he mastered how to adapt to his environment, he learned how to make the environment work for him. And no sooner than these innovations started, they began to build and form a hierarchy until it eventually brought us to where we are today.

From the earth, the flora and fauna has evolved from our prehistoric natural predator and wyvern, into tools that allowed growth and survival, and eventually back into the aggressor, rather in a passive-aggressive sense considering that the earth will no longer have the means to provide survival. Yet science will prevail, prophetically man shall become his own god, creating every aspect that he needs to survive. The forgotten species hunted or died off into extinction shall be reanimated through advanced biology; Dolly was the first step into the diamond age.

Transhumanists rejoice in their believed enlightenment, yet is it not evident that all species evolve to be more efficient at what they do? The thought that man will transform into more can already be seen in the past few decades of history. In the last one hundred years, man has made more advances in technology than he has in the previous nineteen hundred. Physically, humans have become bigger, stronger, faster, and are beginning to use more of their minds; and on the darker side, more destructive, vain, and languid. An eerie revelation is what shall humans be known for —the creators or the destroyers?

Perhaps in an immediate progressive logical sense man is seen as being intelligent, but in an ephemeral sense, that which regards to spirituality, man has no known equivalent, which is nothing short of brilliant. At first to create a language based out of gestures and grunts, to crude language, to a written form, deviating and simplifying as it went along, into the modern day of languages that control his beasts of burden which, in return, saves him innumerable amounts of time. None withholding, man has created concepts of currency, location, mathematics – both simple and complex, time, government, and most importantly religion. Yet hasn’t man become his own God, controlling all that the world has to offer and all areas where man can grow?

Yet the question remains, why? What is the root explanation for all of this growth, and change?

-----
Part II Will Answer those questions (IMHO) here shortly. Until then... what do you think?

[squidlips]

to long to read

[phacker]

As regards spirituality...we've really evolved to the point that kids are killing kids, and instead of helping a motorist in trouble, road rage takes over and we run them off the road. But some definitely do have control over the environment and those around them (I can think of a few in the US government), while the rest of the world cowers before them. That's modern evolution. Some men actually do see themselves as gods.

[1stbite]

NO COMMENT

but enjoyed reading it...

[ViRGo_RK]

Originally posted by phacker
As regards spirituality...we've really evolved to the point that kids are killing kids, and instead of helping a motorist in trouble, road rage takes over and we run them off the road. But some definitely do have control over the environment and those around them (I can think of a few in the US government), while the rest of the world cowers before them. That's modern evolution. Some men actually do see themselves as gods.

Did you just call Bush god?

[MrChuckles]

Originally posted by FlashInnovation
The Human Void: On the Path to Singularity

The idea of elitism is nothing in an eternal sense, but everything in the immediate. It is based on comparison -- what (Nietsczhe sp? one) would call the übermensch, the supreme human being (I'm not sure that you capture the essence of ubermensch here, doesn't tally with my readings, but I'm happy to discuss) – which can only be determined on an intrapersonal metaphysical determination, and then accepted as truth by the whole of society.wordy - I'm not sure that your meaning is clear This classification will yield everlasting acknowledgement, much like Siddhartha Buddha. (But) I wouldn't start any sentence with but who is to speculate that the knowledge and enlightenment that Siddhartha acquired years ago is not beyond the mental comprehension of a modern teenager? Yet more impact if you lose the "yet" many people are afraid to question the thought of them them(selves) being a brilliant genius bubbling and brooding beneath the surface. Perhaps they need to escape from the controls of society and their conscience and choose to make a difference in the universe rather than accepting the (given fact that their opinion doesn’t count.) status quo, the perception of their inability to alter their environment.

Part I

Every step of life is set in motion to better the position than the step before. Regardless of the said intentions, once one delves deeper into the roots of human existence and action, one will reveal that mankind strives to be the master of every aspect in the world, both physical and ephemeral. Evaluating that statement will quickly lead to two viewpoint conclusions; one, and the more readily accepted one, is the thought that human’s are sinners and that this amount of control and power is in root evil. Conversely, the second viewpoint stresses creation and positive affluence due to human perversion. Naturally there is a grey area that distinguishes between these two viewpoints, and neither is entirely right nor wrong.

However, it can not be ignored that mankind has had a drastic (change) impact upon the world that he inhabits. Primitively he learned from nature, seeking what naturally worked in its own existence, suiting himself to the environment around him. Like wolves he learned to live and share in a pack, like the bear he learned to shelter himself from the elements, and like the squirrel he learned how to prepare for the changing seasons. After he mastered how to adapt to his environment, he learned how to make the environment work for him. And no sooner than these innovations started, they began to build and form a hierarchy until it eventually brought us to where we are today.

From the earth, the flora and fauna has evolved from our prehistoric natural predator and wyvern not sure why you used this word - how does a semi-mythical reptile fit into your argument?, into tools that allowed growth and survival, and eventually back into the aggressor, rather in a passive-aggressive sense considering that the earth will no longer have the means to provide survival. Yet science will prevail, prophetically man shall become his own god, creating every aspect that he needs to survive. The forgotten species hunted or died off into extinction shall be reanimated through advanced biology; Dolly was the first step into the diamond age.

Transhumanists rejoice in their believed enlightenment, yet is it not evident that all species evolve to be more efficient at what they do? The thought that man will transform into more can already be seen in the past few decades of history. In the last one hundred years, man has made more advances in technology than he has in the previous nineteen hundred. Physically, humans have become bigger, stronger, faster, and are beginning to use more of their minds; and on the darker side, more destructive, vain, and languid. An eerie revelation not sure that this is a revelation, more a question is what shall humans be known for —the creators or the destroyers?

Perhaps in an immediate, progressive, logical sense man is seen as being intelligent, but in an ephemeral sense, with better than "that which" regards to spirituality, man has no known equivalent, which is nothing short of brilliant. At first to create a language based out of gestures and grunts, to crude language, to a written form, deviating and simplifying as it went along, into the modern day of languages that control his beasts of burden which, in return, saves him innumerable amounts of time. None withholding, man has created concepts of currency, location, mathematics – both simple and complex, time, government, and most importantly religion. Yet hasn’t man become his own God, controlling all that the world has to offer and all areas where man can grow?

Yet the question remains, why? What is the root explanation for all of this growth, and change?

-----
Part II Will Answer those questions (IMHO) here shortly. Until then... what do you think?

Overall, I found the logic convoluted, the flow meandering and a tendency to over explain points. The basis of the essay is good, and can be rescued, but as it stands, it loses all of its impact.

PM me if you want to discuss - I've tutored several people in essay technique and would be happy to help.

Jim

[MrChuckles]

Oh, and don't take my comments in the wrong way - just being cruel to be kind!

I think you have an interesting concept here, that you can express in a more effective fashion.

Jim

[FlashInnovation]

Thanks much I know what needs to be done. T'was only my rough draft hehe. Was just getting down the foundation/key points of my arguement... will refine and work on a thesis. (This essay doesn't have one as of yet lol)

[MrChuckles]

Glad to be of a brutal kind of help

Seriously mang, if you want me to take a look at it once you have worked on it some more, I'll be more than happy to oblige, just holler.

Jim