display works for comments and suggestions

**yesthisismyday** · 10-27-2006, 05:57 PM

http://www.vnjournal.com/yesthisismy...0adventure.swf
new development, please enjoy!

I'm working on the plan of attack. How cute demon and his gangs r gonna attack heavenly farm? any idea?
I'm thinking about letting the navy attack first but not sure what transportation they r going to use. I'm trying to come up with something original and creative... advice plz

**RUSHVision** · 10-27-2006, 10:49 PM

Wow. You want advice about what kind of transportation the demon Navy should use? With you already using a toilet to represent the Air Force and some kind of broom or brush for the Army, I wouldn't begin to know what to suggest. Mop buckets? Waffles?

So what is this demon Navy's objective? Does he have some kind of beef with rural structures or livestock? What glorious prize would prompt a sea-based force to launch an offensive inland against the helpless denizens of some unsuspecting farm?

**goliard** · 10-28-2006, 05:33 AM

Perhaps the farm is breeding genetically-modified air-to-sea missiles disguised as maize...

**RUSHVision** · 10-28-2006, 05:47 AM

That would actually make for an excellent anti-flying toilet weapon...the maize missle! I think it should at least be a fair fight. Pea pods would make nice magazines for machine gun pod launchers. You've got that baby theme goin', maybe have a stork provide close air support or serve as an evac unit for wounded troops.

**goliard** · 10-28-2006, 07:16 AM

Back in the mists of time, many flour mills (the kind powered by wind) blew up because of the density of flour dust in the air and static electricity provided by the moving machinery. (The US "daisy cutter" bombs are apparently based on this principle). Maybe you could do something similkar with talcum powder??!!??

Toilet ducks as marines, floss razor wire, cotton bud rocket launchers...the list goes on!

**RUSHVision** · 10-28-2006, 09:44 AM

Here's a thought...

**Natsia** · 10-29-2006, 11:15 AM

PWAAAAAAAAAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
You forgot the "peeewpeeewpeeeewlazorbeams* in there Rush.

**RUSHVision** · 10-29-2006, 12:04 PM

What's better than flying pirate death ships? Flying pirate death ships with frickin' laser beams in their heads!!!

**yesthisismyday** · 10-29-2006, 09:19 PM

dude, little baby and cute demon r on the same team

**Jujumon** · 10-30-2006, 01:42 AM

not anymore after the baby got his head blown off like that

**goliard** · 10-30-2006, 05:41 AM

It's just friendly fire, goddammit!

**Natsia** · 10-30-2006, 09:28 AM

^ What he said!

**RUSHVision** · 10-30-2006, 12:25 PM

Demon pirates are very untrustworthy. Besides, when you have laser beam eyes it's hard not to just shoot everything in sight. Personally I think it's his own fault, anyway. He really shouldn't have been brandishing that stick like that.

**Jujumon** · 10-30-2006, 01:01 PM

anyway, i like your creativity and i also think that you incorporated the elements from the previous volley quite well. However, the piece looks a bit flat. Id suggest you add visible light source and shadows more to the whole environment. Also you might want to try adding distant background to create more depths. I still like it though. great job.

I cant wait to see what yesthisismyday comes up with against this volley.

**yesthisismyday** · 10-31-2006, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by Jujumon

anyway, i like your creativity and i also think that you incorporated the elements from the previous volley quite well. However, the piece looks a bit flat. Id suggest you add visible light source and shadows more to the whole environment. Also you might want to try adding distant background to create more depths. I still like it though. great job.

I cant wait to see what yesthisismyday comes up with against this volley.

I'll try to learn that. Good idea! I'm thinking about trying illustration, right now I'm using flash and I dont know how to add shadows and lightings to my drawings. Any idea?

**yesthisismyday** · 11-05-2006, 06:23 PM

sea- battle

full view

**RUSHVision** · 11-05-2006, 08:54 PM

That green dude in the top one doesn't quite seem to fit in with the rest of your motley little crew. I like the ship and the waves in that second one, though. That...is that a lima bean riding a bloated parakeet?...out on the bow and the Meatwad-looking thing peeking over the side look pretty cute. The comical brandishment with the tiny sword is a nice touch.

**yesthisismyday** · 11-06-2006, 01:10 AM

thanx dude, I'll try harder next time.
btw,
I found a great writer who agrees to help me out. Check out Brendon's work:

**RUSHVision** · 11-06-2006, 06:11 AM

I'm glad you found someone to work with. I think Brendon did a good job too, but may I offer some suggestions? The version below reflects some slight wording changes in some cases and fairly drastic ones in others. I thought it was particularly important to reword number eight since that one really wasn't coming across right.

The Story of Little Baby

1. Little Baby was in the night sky
with his pacifier shining Bright.

2. Little Baby soars and soars,
hanging tight with all tiny fours.

3. Soaring faster than his underwear,
Little Baby found himself completely bare!

4. He hurled down his ladder
as if nothing else mattered.

5. Faster and faster he goes.
Someone will know if I don't get those!

6. Baaaaaa! a sheep said,
as he ate shred after shred.

7. He gives it back, but a little girl notices.
He was embarrassed to find himself a crazy nude hostess!

8. Then she plays without caring,
though he felt shy about how little he was wearing.

9. Next they lay down to talk,
which soon after turned into a walk.

10. Instead of walking she decided to run,
and Little Baby being nude turned into good fun!

The End

**yesthisismyday** · 11-06-2006, 03:40 PM

awesome, I'm wordless, this is revolution in writing . Can I post this work on yesthisismyday.com please?

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