adobemedia vs. zacaboo :: A battle.

[Adobemedia]

Well, with rollCanvas coming along slowly, I have time for a battle.

Dimensions:
700x400
No rotation.
No theme.
Must use element from last volley.
Rounds: Well, it depends on how fast rollCanvas starts going. I can estimate maybe a 5 day turnaround. I may need more, because of finals.


Here we are:

[littleMatt]

Man - I really like this! Very funky.

Wish I had more time on my hands...

[Zacaboo288]

I would love to duke it out with you. I've had a serious itch lately, not to mention that most of what I learn comes from these challenges. I'm mostly interested because I'm very pleased with the style of your piece, I'd love to contribute to it. Let me know.

I'll crit you later, promise, I've just got to head out of the house for a few hours to deliver furniture. I'm making some tasty pocket change

[Adobemedia]

Ok. Its on. Again, I may be mucked up with homework. Finals are on Friday, but after that, no problems with time.

- Aaron

[Zacaboo288]

I like your image a lot. I think it's very subtle yet energetic. You've used simple shapes and few colors in such a way that you've created some sort of electricity or something that seems to me to be living and moving about. I think overall the image is mostly balanced; the black shape to the right seems a bit out of place to me but others may disagree. I think it has more to do with personal preference, or rather personal connection. The shape of the object and the location of it seems a bit forced to me but perhaps it was created completely on a whim with no pretention. Mostly, I like the simplicity of the entire piece... right now I'm trying to simplify my life to some degree so your image gave way to some positive momentum.

Here's my volley.

[Adobemedia]

Very nice colors! Well, I should have something up soon. Just have to get done with a book report. I should be able to start in an hour.

[Adobemedia]

Here you go:

I like it.

[Adobemedia]

Any crits?

[ViRGo_RK]

I like the concept, but just something about the layout isnt doing it for me. It doesnt seem to flow, my eyes are torn every which way. Which could be a benefit, given the subject, but Im not really sure how to articulate this.

[gerbick]

There are entirely too many "lines" in your image. Not that diagonal lines are a problem, I mean the imaginary lines that people eyes tend to follow when looking at a design. I've said it a few times... layouts that set out an imaginary V or Z or (even) an L (this is a good when using white space) are easier for the eyes to follow, be led, and end on the last part of the image. It encourages the eyes to view everything, from right to left and left to right as one coherent image.

Your image is a zig-zag image and even after following it a few times, the eyes are not following all of the layout as one coherent image. I see two ideas that somehow you put together to form one image that should have been more coherent... more convincing that it's one thought, one concept. The type in some places - type has been your shortcoming, but you're improving - doesn't compliment each other in the contrast as you've laid it out. It seems tacked on.

You could have left the one on the left just fine. But the serif font on the right should have followed the paper. Believe it or not, it would have segue from your zig-zag layout a bit better and led the eyes off of the page with the squiggle on the paper.

The top of the notebook, you have to be more careful of masking. The white edges are more than 7 pixels in some areas and it shows me where you composited things. The ink looks good. Damn good. I don't like the bottom left smudge - it's repeated behind the waterfall.

The lack of colors helps the image though. But you don't have good balance, tension, nor do you lead the eyes with this layout. Command your type a bit better; think of your concepts in one coherent manner should become your goal. Each image tells a story. One story. And it should just be just enough in some cases that we fill it in with an imaginary backstory. Or it can be verbose enough so that we go... "Oh."

And sometimes, it can be mysterious enough that you keep our attention.

Forgive my "editorial"; the critique is just that you've not presented an image that's coherent. Work on the aforementioned; but rest assured... you're getting much better dude. Keep up the advancements.

[ViRGo_RK]

Thanks for putting a reason to the observation of a boy who is recently adjusting to a new bout of insomnia, gerbick...

[Adobemedia]

Thanks Gerbs.
I appreciate it.

[Adobemedia]

Zacaboo, are you still up for this?

[Zacaboo288]

Sorry for the late response. I've been job hunting and getting ready to move into my new place so I'm seldom free enough to devote a few hours to the computer. If you'd like, someone else may jump in because I can't give you an exact time I could return.

[Adobemedia]

Zac, if you can't do this, thats fine.
It was nice while it lasted.

THIS BATTLE IS REOPENED FOR TAKERS.
Same as the first post guide. Start with original volley.

Mods, would appreciate if you could delete all posts up to littleMats.

Oh, and could some mod edit the first post to say "Battle Reopened to Takers"?

[Zacaboo288]

Thank you for understanding. I'm glad I was able to contribute something. Keep up the great work.

[Adobemedia]

No prob man.

[Adobemedia]

Anyone?

[gerbick]

Do this... Start off a new thread with a new or original image - I personally think it'll be lazy to re-use the original image; I'll close this one.

If Zacaboo feels like he can come back and resume, then why not resume this one with the same energy as you had set aside for him with your images. Up to you; however I think that's the best option.

[Adobemedia]

Yeah. I was thinking about that.
I'll try and get a new image and thread up