Movie Teaser version 0.5

[evolbeagle]

Here's the latest work on the movie teaser I'm doing in KoolMoves. This version has most of the major elements (as far as story-telling anyway) in place. So at this point I'd appreciate feedback not only on technical stuff (are the dialogue snippets comprehensible, etc.?), but also on whether my approach works for you as a viewer. Once I get a really polished version, I'll submit it over at the site check forum for more broad-based comment. (There are still some things missing, like the enter button doesn't work, the preloader text is tiny and so on.)


http://demo.voikos.com/animation/remtease5.html

Thanks.

[BradBradleySL]

I liked it, the sound looked good. Question though, what is the beginning supposed to be, dirt being shoveled into a grave? If so it works pretty good, maybe better sound for that though, like the sound of dirt hitting the coffin. Um, well I will look at it again.

Brad

[evolbeagle]

Yes, it is supposed to give the impression of being covered by dirt. I'm having to make all my own sounds because I can't find them like I want anywhere. I'll try again on that sound.

There are actually two sounds there. The first one, hopefully a tad more distant and quieter, is of the shovel picking up the dirt. The second one is of the dirt landing on the screen. Did the first one sound okay and only the second one seem off? Or are they both inferior?

Thanks.

[evolbeagle]

Okay, I thought of a way to fix that sound. The movie is technically version 0.51 now, but it's still at the same address as above:

http://demo.voikos.com/animation/remtease5.html


Brad, see if you like that better. (Of course, you may need to clear your cache to see the new version.)

[BradBradleySL]

Nice, I like that beginning a lot better now, coming along good. How about as an added effect at the end of the teaser have one more drum beat, a few seconds after the face appears all the way, just a little touch that would be neat, a scream might be cool too. Nice I like, your making me want to go do something now.

Brad

[evolbeagle]

Glad you like that better. I was also thinking it needs a little something at the end. I'm still playing around with it.

I also posted on the site check board and one guy didn't seem too impressed. He seemed to feel (although he didn't come out and say it) that my intro is boring. One of the things I'm trying to do is get an intro that works as a teaser but doesn't bog down a viewer's computer. Here's an example of what I'm trying to stay away from:

http://www.sleepyhollowmovie.com/flash_intro.html

On my system at least, this intro is very slow and jerky, so the effect is really diluted if not lost. (It also has other problems. The "Skip Intro" button is brighter than the story text, for Pete's sake!) I want to stay away from that, but I don't want to err in the direction of boring. If you or johnie have any input on this idea, I'm all monitors. (You two consistently give some of the best feedback at this site. I feel fortunate you both work with KoolMoves and monitor its forum.)

Anyway, thanks.

[BradBradleySL]

hmmmm....boring huh. I liked it!! Maybe for more excitement you could maybe introduce more of the evil character at the end. Perhaps add two more scenes of him after the guy that says "what are you doing here?" flashing quickly and then go to the title and the face. I agree slightly, that it could be more exciting but I also agree that you don't want to bog it down.
Could you email me a quick review of what the teaser is about(storyline) maybe I could help more then, screenshots too? [email protected]

Brad

[evolbeagle]

Part of the challenge on this project is the severely limited set of screenshots I've got to work with. It was like pulling teeth to get these guys to send me what they did, and it isn't much. I've got to take a break right now 'cause my wife is coming home sick from work and I need to play doctor, but when I get a chance, I'll go through the pix again and see what might be useful.

As for the story line, here it is straight from the production company's press materials:

"Synopsis

In the first summer of the new millenium, the town of Garner, Georgia finds itself faced with two grisly murders. At first, the deaths seem unrelated. But what the killings have in common will plunge Garner into a nightmare of supernatural revenge.

Police officers Kevin Dougherty and Sam Maddox uncover evidence that seems to tie one of the murders to Jesse Lounds, a man with a record. There's just one small problem:

Jesse Lounds has been dead for nearly 30 years.

Allison Davis is a young attorney whose partner is one of the murder victims. What she learns about her own connections to Jesse Lounds will shock her --- and put her life in danger.

As the death toll begins to climb, Allison, Kevin and Sam find themselves believing in the impossible and battling the unthinkable. If they are to save themselves and their town, they must destroy...

The Remnant"



Anyway, thanks for the help.

[Maggee]

I looked at your movie and you may not want the opinion of someone who is new to this but.....

I think the beginning where you have the shovel throwing dirt on the title should be a little bit faster maybe...it seems to take too long to get through it and that might make some people decide not to wait around to see the rest.

Just my opinion

Maggee

[evolbeagle]

Actually, I do want the opinions of people who are new to this. In some ways, you may be more like the average web surfer who doesn't happen also to be a designer/programmer.

I wrestled (and am still wrestling with) the pacing of the opening scene. The problem is that if a make it go faster, it isn't realistic in terms of the speed with which a person could cover something with dirt. The solution I'm leaning toward is to add a little dialogue there that gives a little more info and holds the attention.

Thanks for the feedback!

[evolbeagle]

For those of you still checking this thread, here's the latest version with dialogue added to the opening scene.

http://demo.voikos.com/animation/remtease61.html

[BradBradleySL]

Ok now that I think about it...face first at the end and then text, and have it come in suddenly, that way more excitement. I liked the dialog in the beginning.

Brad