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Thread: Believe in Santa? - Not anymore!

  1. #1
    An FKer
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    Believe in Santa? - Not anymore!

    Here's a little thing my friend sent me. Its proof to those who believe in Santa Clause that he's not real.

    From an engineering perspective anyways:




    *SANTA CLAUS: AN ENGINEER'S PERSPECTIVE*

    There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the
    world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
    Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the
    workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according
    to the Population Reference Bureau). At an average (census) rate of 3.5
    children per household that comes to 108 million homes, presuming that there
    is at least one good child in each.

    Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
    time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west
    (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is
    to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around
    1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney,
    fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat
    whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into
    the sleigh and get on to the next house.

    Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around
    the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the
    purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per
    household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops
    or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per
    second--3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the
    fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4
    miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per
    hour.

    The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
    each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two pounds), the
    sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.
    On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even
    granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount,
    the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them-Santa would need
    360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the
    sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen
    Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

    600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
    resistance-this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a
    spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
    would absorb 14.3
    quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst
    into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and
    creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would
    be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time
    Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

    Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from
    a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
    acceleration forces of 17,500 G's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
    ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015
    pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to
    a quivering blob of pink goo.

    Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

    Merry Christmas!!

  2. #2
    Senior Member ctranter's Avatar
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    What about teleportation?

  3. #3
    An FKer
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    What about it?

    Thats only from a engineers perspective, in reality Santa uses the magic of Christmas to give him the power to deliver those toys. I saw it.

  4. #4
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    Pah, absolute rubbish!
    its a well known fact the santa uses fairy dust and is therefore not subject to the normal rules of physics.

  5. #5
    An FKer
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    Fairy dust ... isnt that the tooth fairy?

  6. #6
    Senior Member
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    it's not just for teeth!
    look here:

    All you need is faith and trust... and a little bit of pixie dust
    http://www.pixyland.org/peterpan/

  7. #7
    An FKer
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    Haha

    I still think he uses the Magic of Christmas as opposed to fairy dust. Its more appealing that way.

    Psh, engineers know nothing!

  8. #8
    Self-portrait mark_my_words's Avatar
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    im making my little nephews read this
    Artificial Memories v0.9.2b
    "Preserving life's precious moments and making new ones"
    © 2009 MemoryCorp - A Walmart company

  9. #9
    An FKer
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    ...

    Way to ruin a kids fun a week before Christmas 'mark my words'. What kind of uncle are you!

  10. #10
    Self-portrait mark_my_words's Avatar
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    An uncle that understands the "real" world.
    Artificial Memories v0.9.2b
    "Preserving life's precious moments and making new ones"
    © 2009 MemoryCorp - A Walmart company

  11. #11
    poet and narcisist argonauta's Avatar
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    you haven't learn eventhough the truth is already out there! WE LIVE IN A FICTIONAL WORD, A MATRIX. Santa really lives in Zion! so he logs in and can bend the rules of the matrix!

    Actually, for what I've heard, Santa is Neo's uncle!
    my blog: blog.innocuo
    Sponsored by your mom.

  12. #12
    An FKer
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    I always thought they looked oddly familiar ...

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