child care

[jAQUAN]

This one's for the parents out there or those exposed to good parenting.
We're having a hard time deciding on what do for day care after our paternity leaves are up. The thought of dropping my new infant off at a day care breaks my heart. I can stomach the thought of a nanny but it's like hiring an employee.

Do you guys have any advice or personal experiences you'd like to share?

[silverx2]

do any of your friends have children they send to day care?

[jAQUAN]

Have one friend who spends her entire paycheck on daycare. Almost defeats the purpose of working.

[creativeinsomnia]

I dont think I ever knew you had a kid dude...wow, congrats!

My wife and I decided we werent going to do daycare so she just stays home with the kids. If we had to do it, I would avoid the larger chain types of daycare, maybe even look into a montessori type of place where your kid can stay/learn all day. I'm sure you cant really do that with an infant but its something to keep an eye on for the future.

[jAQUAN]

We're expecting our first in about 6-7 months hence the preparatory questions. Thanks CI.

[FlashLackey]

We have no experience with day-care. So, can't really comment on it. But, we felt the same way and didn't want to send the kids off for any significant time. So, my wife stays home. It's a lot of work. She works harder than I do. But, we feel that it's worth it.

If it's not possible for your wife to stay home either out of preference or income, I would recommend the nanny. Even if it's a huge cost, I think the security of being home and close to mom and dad is worth it. Not to mention that they will probably get sick more often going to day-care.

[creativeinsomnia]

Not to mention that they will probably get sick more often going to day-care.

That wouldnt matter if we had national health care! Just kidding.

I dont know about the Nanny thing either. Have you ever seen those videos of nannies abusing kids? That stuff makes me sick and would drive me crazy sitting at work just thinking about it. Not to make you paranoid though.

I think it boils down to finding someone you trust. That's hard to do. Especially with a your first defenseless child.

[flashpipe1]

The first year our daughter was born, my wife and I both worked from home, so it was a juggling act of trying to get our work done, take care of our daughter and keep up with the other house stuff (home improvements were put on hold for a while).

When she turned one, I took a full-time gig (mainly for a steady paycheck and the health insurance, which was the same price as our mortgage) and my wife cut back her business so she took half her normal orders and filled them in the evenings and on weekends...it was pretty crazy. When our son was born, we totally lucked into finding a sitter (through Craigslist) who came to our house, with her 2 kids (roughly the same age as our daughter), so that my wife could work and could "supervise" the sitter during our "trial" period.

Earlier this year, our sitter moved out of town...our daughter is 4, our son is 2. We debated day care a lot, checked out several in the area, and finally decided to give it a try instead of having my wife give up her business that she spent the last 8 years building. We found one that uses all state-certified teachers, is close to our house, and we liked.

The first few days were REALLY hard and it was good that I took them instead of my wife because they cried, they didn't want me to leave, I even had to carry my son in one day, kicking and screaming, put him on the floor and walk out. Within a week or two, they were both running into their classes, would give me a hug and kiss, say goodbye and I could walk out smiling.

The kids go to day care 2 days/week which gives my wife enough time to keep her business running and gives her a break from full-time kid care, which helps keep her stress level down and lets her spend the other 3 days a week focusing on the kids instead of trying to do work on the side.

Our daughter started pre-school 3 weeks ago (3 days/week for 2-1/2 hours/day) and she had no problems going into a new class with new kids, making new friends, etc. I think that's primarily because she's already been exposed to it.

Here's my thoughts...if you find a good day care, it's a wonderful thing. For you and the kids. Our daughter has always been very social, so she had no problem making friends. Our son was always in her shadow and would "shy up" when other kids came around and then would just follow his big sister around. Since starting in day care, he is MUCH more social and comfortable around kids his own age. He no longer clings to my wife and I when people come over to our house and doesn't copy his sisters every move.

It's a tough decision to "give up" any time with your kids. Especially when they're so little and it's only a few years until they'll be in school full-time. But, the choice to go with daycare is one that neither of us regret, we don't feel like we're "missing out" on time with the kids since the time we do get is much more focused on them and the social skills they're learning are already proving invaluable.

Hope that helps...feel free to shoot any questions you may have...

[jAQUAN]

You guys don't even know how calming you're input is.
Our situation is a little locked. My wife is high-ranking military with only about 7 years until retirement so her staying home is not an option regardless of my paycheck.

This is my last week of working at home due to a priceless job opportunity so there goes that. After the age of two day-care isn't that scary of an option.

As a kid, my grandma just happened to live a block away and ran a real day-care out of a converted garage. Because of me all the kids just called her "Grandma"

Our nearest family is 3 hours away. So with our combined income, a day-time nanny seems like the best choice. I don't care much I have to pay for that kinda peace of mind, its just fact that the kid will be soooo young that unnerves me. Of course I'd be wiring the house with cams I can stream from work.


On a side note, anyone have a good home remedy for a pregnant migraine headache entering it's third day?

[flashpipe1]

On a side note, anyone have a good home remedy for a pregnant migraine headache entering it's third day?

Yours or hers?

I'd recommend a vacation...for one of you...

[jAQUAN]

No I'm in relatively good health.

[FlashLackey]

On a side note, anyone have a good home remedy for a pregnant migraine headache entering it's third day?

That's at least a call to the doctor. Maybe a visit. Could be blood pressure related and is one of the things they're always asking at visits if I remember right.

[jAQUAN]

Yeah we have one scheduled for tomorrow.

[flashpipe1]

My wife got preclampsia during our daughter's pregnancy and ended up on bed-rest and a restricted diet for the last 3 months. She got lots of headaches, swelling, high blood-pressure, etc.
Having a parasite growing inside your body sure is a bizarre thing...
Take lots of pics, go to all the classes, and PACK A BAG EARLY!! Best thing we did...be sure to pack some snacks for yourself too...



I know it's a crazy time, but try to enjoy it...

[WannaBe_80z]

So glad(as of right now) both me and my gf despise the thought of children. Sure someone else's baby is super cute and fun to play with but even better that they go away once they get cranky

[FlashLackey]

My wife got preclampsia during our daughter's pregnancy and ended up on bed-rest and a restricted diet for the last 3 months. She got lots of headaches, swelling, high blood-pressure, etc.
Having a parasite growing inside your body sure is a bizarre thing...
Take lots of pics, go to all the classes, and PACK A BAG EARLY!! Best thing we did...be sure to pack some snacks for yourself too...



I know it's a crazy time, but try to enjoy it...

Mine also got that, twice. Our first was born 2 months early because of it. Second was less severe but she had to do the bed rest thing.

It's definitely nothing to mess around with. I wish you guys the best, jAQUAN.

[jAQUAN]

Thanks for the good wishes FL.