this is depressing,
1.st make yourself a simple list of what you really want to archive (just what matters), then make another list that lists the steps that are required for that. With that you should be able to make out what to do next.

Besides that I think that your post could use some structure as well,- whats up with all the 3d and then side engines. The same with c++ and then flash making. Just strip away what you don't need to say and define your goals clearly so that people can actually help you.