Well props to you. Here, have a cookie.

You say you don't want to use pre-made servers and stuff, yet:

- Youre going to launch this on Newgrounds, a "pre made" game website
- Newgrounds or whatever web host you use is using "pre made" services like Apache, Windows, PHP, etc. Why not code your own operating system?
- You're using Flash instead of coding your own graphics and sprite engine from the ground up in C++
- Screw C++, that's also cheating, why aren't you coding everything from scratch using Assembler machine byte code?

Get my point?

(You probably learned a heck of a lot coding your own server, so great. But obviously it's not good enough. Learn and move on to the next challenge. No harm in that. You've still accomplished more than I ever could. But if it's not fixable, it's not fixable.)